There were two chairs. One chair is placed across from the other. My five-year-old daughter sat in one of those chairs, and I sat in front of the other, across from her. We were facing each other. As I sat in front of her, a knife appeared in my hand & I brought it up to my neck very slowly. No matter what my daughter’s reaction was, I just kept staring back at her. No matter how much she cried and screamed, I proceeded to place the knife to my throat and cut. As the blood began to trickle down, I still sat there looking at her. I just sat there allowing her to witness me killing myself, and I never changed my mind. I let her watch me die until life was gone from me.

That was the dream. That was the dream that changed it all. That was the dream that made me see the truth. I thought my antidepressants were harmless. I thought my anxiety meds were curing my anxiety. What I didn’t realize was that I had a problem. I was abusing my meds. I was abusing my meds so much that I was actually killing myself slowly. The worst part is I was killing myself slowly as my daughter watched, and I never knew it until there were two chairs.

I awoke from that dream so distraught. I cried, saying to myself I would never, I could never, but the reality was, it’s exactly what I was unknowingly doing with my addiction to my meds. That morning, I quit, cold turkey. The dream was so real, too real. I started the process of coping with life drug-free that very morning, and I haven’t looked back. That was years ago. Who would have known that I could survive without my addiction? Who knew pills would one day not be necessary? Who knew that my life would change forever, all because there were two chairs.