Therapy

I feel that my therapist’s office is like a courtroom, and I’m on trial for my life. My therapist, of course, would be my lawyer. I was asked if I thought therapy worked, and my response was my court and trial theory. Your “lawyer” or therapist can help you only as far as your openness […]

Before vs After

It’s been a while since I’ve posted. I’m long overdue! The reason is that I’ve been going through. First, let me just start by sharing this amazing dream I had. It explained everything. So I dreamed that I drove to a previous address, and when I walked in, it was as if time had been […]

Power of Forgiveness

Today, instead of ending with a quote, I wanted to start with one. (“When you forgive, you in no way change the past, but you sure do change the future.” Bernard Meltzer) How much better would life be if we could all get better at forgiving, not just other people but ourselves as well? The […]

Failure is not an Option

I saw this question, and I was just blown away by it because it really got me thinking, so I decided to share. Oprah posed a question on Twitter, asking, “What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail? For a lot of us, the fear of failure is the main […]

What if They Both Fail

After reading an article about what it means to date a woman without a father, I got extremely angry. I was angry because everything in the article was so true. Then I got even more upset when I realized what if your mother, in some ways, failed you, too,  whether it was intentional or not. […]

Did it Occur to you (I am Human)

While watching an episode of one of my favorite shows, “The Haves and the Have Nots,” in one of the scenes, a character, “David,” made a compelling statement. After David refused to go through with an affair, the woman requested that David at least hold her because she was so lonely; I, being single, understood. […]

WHERE I’VE GONE WRONG

FATHER, PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR PRAYING EVERY DAY ASKING EVERY CHANCE I GET FOR THE SAME THINGS FOR YOU HEARD ME THE FIRST TIME THE SECOND TIME AND THE THIRD AND IF I TRUSTED AND BELIEVED IN YOU I’D KNOW YOU KEEP YOUR WORD AMEN WHERE I’VE REALLY GONE WRONG IN PRAYING/ASKING FOR A HUSBAND […]

You too Understand

“I am screaming and yelling, crying out for a hand.  I am beating on the walls trying to get you to understand. I am screaming!” I wrote that poem years ago in the midst of my pain. When I wrote it, I meant it for everybody but me. However, it wasn’t until today that I […]

The Rights in my Wrong

This is what happened: I found out that even my wrongs were wrong! Let me break it down to you. I called myself recognizing when and where I was wrong in my life choices. However, I kept making bad choices; even though I wasn’t necessarily making the same decisions. I found myself continuing to be […]

Forgiveness Can be Confusing

Okay, so I’ve been working on this whole forgiveness thing, right? I thought I had it down, but NO! It turns out that I was only forgiving people for what they did, but not forgiving or accepting people for who they are. Before I go any further, let me make it clear that by accepting, […]

Don’t Forget to Remove Your Mask

I prayed to God with my mask on, and I wondered why things still went wrong. See, when you’re hurt, you wear a mask all day; even when you’re alone, even when you pray. I came to the lord not as myself, begging and pleading, asking him for help. I vowed to the world that […]

Circumstantial Love

Did you know that you could be in love with someone or someone could be in love with you solely based on the circumstances? I call it “circumstantial love.” You have to be careful with this kind of love, if one can even call it love at all. This love will have you stuck in […]

Get Rid of Your Junk

I have been away for a while because I’ve been suffering from writer’s block. My writer’s block came about due to all the unfinished business in my life, my junk! The junk I’m referring to is all the stuff you don’t want to deal with. It’s everything and anything that you put away and told […]

The Lesson

For the longest I floated in the middle. I was afraid of making the mistake of being who I once was, but also afraid of who I was to become. I called myself playing it safe. I actually lived my life and made most of my choices based on something being better than nothing, not […]

Don’t Give up in the Cocoon

I wonder if the caterpillar has the luxury of knowing that it will one day be a beautiful butterfly. In this case, life is easy for them because they already know what they’re destined to become. All they have to do is live, right? On the other hand, perhaps it doesn’t know and accepts that […]

What’s Next

The big question, what’s next, is driving me crazy. I ask myself this almost every day. I know that I must keep my faith and hold on to what’s promised, it doesn’t stop the question. This question burns from the inside as I configure my task for the day. No matter what, I always feel […]

God is Consistent

A friend and I were going over our biggest lessons in 2015. If this year didn’t teach me anything else, I realized that God is Consistent! The enemy tries to confuse us and uses our situations and circumstances to make us think God’s not consistent, but he is.  We are not! I was not.  I […]

Things My Mother Taught Me

It’s two in the morning, and at that moment, I realized that my battles were not just for me. I’d like to think that what I learned is what my daughter will master! My heart almost broke today because I saw all my flaws in her face. I heard them in her voice, and as […]

Creatures of Habit

Dear readers,  I know that it’s been a while. I feel the same way. It’s because I’ve been in this space. This place I’m in is pretty foreign. I’m assuming that this land is what people refer to as “normal.” You see, for quite some time, there has been nothing. When I say nothing, I […]

Dead Things

When I saw this plant, I was instantly inspired. I’m inspired because this plant has been dead for at least three years. It was hanging outside my window, dead when I moved in. So I guess it’s safe to say the plant was “dead on arrival.” I don’t know how long it was lifeless before […]

His Name was Grover

I went to the park today during my lunch.  Nothing special, I often go sit in the park to stare at the river flowing. For some reason, I think so clearly there. I normally don’t get out of my car. I just drive up, park, pray, and think. Today was different. Today, for the first […]

The Wilderness

I don’t know who this is for, but I’m going to be obedient and share, and I pray my transparency helps. I took my daughter on a trip this summer, and when I got back, everything seemed to go crazy. We discovered bed bugs, which resulted in me throwing both of our beds away, leaving […]

Spontaneous Abortion

Have you ever asked God for something and he gives it to you, but not in the way that you expected? Because of the way he gave it to you, you don’t know what to do with it when it comes. Has he ever given you an answer, but not all of the answer, lol! […]

The Ministry of Everything

Lately, I’ve been feeling like I have to serve in the ministry of everything. As in, I know the addresses to so many levels of pain I could write a phonebook including a description. Once you’ve experienced something and you’ve survived it becomes your ministry. I have so many ministries. It started with the ministry […]

Story I’ll Never Write

If pain is temporary and suffering doesn’t last always, then why does the new pain seem so familiar to me? It makes me wonder if the old pain ever really left at all. Was I ever free? Did I truly heal, because this new pain somehow feels like a disease that has woken up from […]

The Cure

I left. I left without the discharge papers or without formally being discharged. I don’t know why I waited to hear the news when I already saw the look. The same look that they all give when they know there’s nothing they can do, or when they don’t want to try. I need surgery. They […]

Spirit of Nobody

“If you ever find yourself on the floor, you’re on to something.” It’s easy to talk about when life broke you just that “one time.” Your spirit decided to keep on living with no instructions, right? That’s when you had to pick up the pieces after life broke you that fifth and sixth time. Now […]

The Bitterness of Bondage

I lost the excitement of my promise. Things were no longer looking like I thought my promise should. I had my own idea of exactly how and what my promise should be on the journey to it and how it should be once I got there. Once things started feeling like what I thought was […]

There Were Two Chairs

There were two chairs. One chair is placed across from the other. My five-year-old daughter sat in one of those chairs, and I sat in front of the other, across from her. We were facing each other. As I sat in front of her, a knife appeared in my hand & I brought it up […]

Whether or Not

I asked God, “What’s the difference between red flags and dry bones…I asked him how to discern one from the other, as sometimes a shut door, a no, or a “red flag” could actually be a dry bone. His response was I cannot discern my way through everything in life; that is the point of […]

Importance of Connectivity

I couldn’t have fathomed the importance of connectivity without being engulfed in its opposite. For all of my life, I’d only been exposed to what was familiar, with the exclusion of vacations. It wasn’t until I did something that only bravery or, some would argue, foolishness, would allow one to do. I moved! My husband, […]