It’s two in the morning, and at that moment, I realized that my battles were not just for me. I’d like to think that what I learned is what my daughter will master! My heart almost broke today because I saw all my flaws in her face. I heard them in her voice, and as you can see, it has kept me up. Now, before you get the wrong idea, let me clear this up right now. I thought I was up to worry, but I’m not up to worry.  I’m up to pray. I’m up to teach.  I’m up so that you and my daughter won’t have to be.

My battles or my lessons, I had to decide. You have to decide! You see, I’ve had the attitude of my battles, my hurt, my pain, my sorrow. When I was supposed to have the mindset of my lessons,  my blessings, my triumphs, my conquers! I didn’t have this thought process because I picked up at a very young age how to worry and complain. I learned how to worry because it was what my mother taught me. My mother had gone through a lot. I have been through a lot. I’ve experienced pain that some people who live to see eighty never see. I’m not complaining. I’m explaining.

My mother was a single parent of four. I am the youngest. I’m not sure if she would do this on purpose, but she would leave eviction and shut-off notices out so that we could see. I was a kid in class worrying about bills I couldn’t pay. I worried that if we get put out, where are we going to stay? I spent my days not thinking like a kid and coming home listening to my mother on the phone with the exact same thoughts that I had all day. My mother taught me how to worry, but she didn’t teach me how to pray. I assume it’s because she didn’t know how.

Because my mother had the mindset of my trials and not my triumphs, my three sisters and I repeated a lot of her mistakes, and what was supposed to be life lessons. We heard about what she went through, but heard nothing about what she learned.  She didn’t teach us the results of her mistakes. She taught us the complaints. As a result, we carried all of her flaws. I refuse to repeat the cycle. I was never supposed to suffer all that I did. My daughter is not supposed to live a repeat of my life.

Just when I was about to decide to stay up all night worrying about my daughter being just like me. God reminded me that he never sleeps or slumbers. There’s never a reason to be up all night worrying about anything. If you’re up worrying and not praying, you may as well just go back to sleep because the two have the same result.

I’m teaching my daughter to give it to God! I encourage you to give it to Jesus! Change your mindset. Focus and teach what you’ve learned instead of always telling what you’ve been through. Stop complaining and start explaining. Reflect and learn instead of crashing and burning! The good news is you made it, I made it!  Whatever it is, you survived! Don’t teach your kids life is hard without teaching them they can make it! Now, when my daughter goes over “things my mother taught me,” her story will be different, and knowing that gives me the ability to thank God for this lesson and tell you all good night or good morning!